Jazamataz1

Casey

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If I left by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

If I left

If I left this world tomorrow, would anyone even care? If I was never seen again, would you notice I wasn't there? If my heart stopped beating in my chest, And I laid down for that final rest Would anyone hold my memory in there hearts, so dear? Would anyone even shed a tear? Knowing that I was nothing but part of your past, And this glimpse of me would be your last. Would you sit and think of the fun memories we did share? Would you break down when you became aware, That all those happy memories would be The only thing you had left of me?

At the end by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

At the end

I'm at the end. There isn't much more I can take. Everything is only getting worse. I really need a break. Day in and day out, Nothing is what I do. My life is so confusing. Why do I feel like I do? I'm by myself, Dreading each and every day, With nobody to talk to, Just hoping things will be okay. I've created some sort of prison, Where hating myself is the crime. Someday maybe things will change? I guess I will know in time. Nobody understand me, Or knows what I'm going through. Keeping a smile on my face, Acting happy with what I say and do, But really inside I'm hurting, Suffering with deep pain and regret, Having fe

She by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

She

Alone in the world, As tears came into her eyes. Nobody cared, She wanted to die. She wanted to get out of this world. She wanted to cry. She thought no one would miss her If she was to die. 'What should I do' She asked day after day. 'Should I leave this awful place, Or should I just stay?' She silently screamed. She needed attention. For someone to show her, Love or affection. She became different. Stayed away from her friends. The only thing she wanted Was for her life to finally end. She made a decision, Maybe not the right choice. She was in so much pain, She couldn't make a noise. She ended her life, At a very y

My Everlasting Question by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

My Everlasting Question

What is this depression? My everlasting question. Why did you abandon me? And why couldn't I see? Why did you take your only life? And by sacrificing it to the knife. There is so much more to live for, yet you exited through that nonexisting door. You will always remain in my heart, as you did from the very start. What is this depression? My everlasting question. --For Danielle, October 15, 1985-May 16, 2002--

The Mirror Image by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

The Mirror Image

I stare into the mirror. Staring at what looks like me, But isn't. That's not my reflection. It's the appearance I thought I hid. It's the screaming I hear Inside my head. It appears in the mirror. An apparition of the past. The thoughts I feel Became physical, No longer mental. My eyes stared back at me. That sad, lonely face appeared. And for an instant I saw my strength. The strength I thought I lost A once strong person on the outside, Becomes how she feels on the inside. Lost, but with a glint of hope. Barely there, tiny in size, But nevertheless The strength I need, To move away from the mirror image.

Beat-Down Angel by Jazamataz1, literature

No Reply by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

No Reply

Like the perfect ending It wont be too long Till everything I've ruined has seen me gone. In time, I pray you'll forgive me. Now you know the girl I am, Can you forgive me? I fall... Like the sands of time, Like some broken rhyme, At feet no longer there. You'll always mean so much to me. And there's no reply... And there's no reply.. You'll never know how much you meant to me... If only I could call the rain, to melt away the pain you feel I would. You gave yourself to me and showed me what the truth could be. For that I say thank you. This was my life It never made much sense to me. You in my life.. It all mean

Why am I Crying? by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

Why am I Crying?

Feelings of sadness, That won't go away, Each and every hour, Each and every day. Hate worthless feelings, That well up inside. Dare not speak them, I don't yet confide. My day starts with crying, My night ends so too. Would somebody tell me, What I should do. It's happiness I seek, But still have not found. Just want to be free, But feel like I'm bound. Put on that smile, For everyone to see, So they will be comfortable, Being around me. Can't give up living, But feel like I'm dying. Too much to live for, So why am I crying?

Confidence by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

Confidence

Where did it all go? Suddenly it all left and I feel so low. I tell myself it will be alright, But constantly I'm in a battle. Hurting, crying, losing the fight. On life, on family, on boys, on friends. Will this lonely feeling ever end? I find myself crying day in and day out. Why don't I know what confidence is all about? I seem to have everything I need, But obviously something is missing. Am I just a bad seed? Everyone tells me not to follow but to lead. Every step I seem to trip. Every feeling of confidence in me slips. I don't know what I did to deserve this, But I know out of everything I've lost in life, My confidence

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If I left by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

If I left

At the end by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

At the end

She by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

She

My Everlasting Question by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

My Everlasting Question

The Mirror Image by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

The Mirror Image

Beat-Down Angel by Jazamataz1, literature

No Reply by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

No Reply

Why am I Crying? by Jazamataz1, literature

Literature

Why am I Crying?

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Prometheus by Prometheus-, literature

Literature

Prometheus

Waves ripple across an emerald sea Rebounding off shores of glass Over hills, through valleys, the murmur passes Whispering fleeting glimpses into joy Long green strands Sway in the breeze With myriad colours Painted lilies Whistling and humming as he tends the flock He brushes the lavender blossoms His song wraps the waves in its rhythm The lilies rustle to the conductor's baton Soft breezes caress With love and care The gently swaying hills Of soft flowered hair Azure eyes and golden skin Lie wrapped in angels' wings A kindly gaze guides a weathered hand As it arranges the silk bouquets Brilliant rays Around sculpted cl

About Jazamataz1

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United States
Deviant for 20 years
She / Her

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My Bio

Current Residence: St. Louis, Missouri, USA
Favourite genre of music: Too many
Favourite photographer: Muh sis
Favourite style of art: Oekaki
Operating System: Windows XP
MP3 player of choice: iTunes
Shell of choice: The one on the beach?
Wallpaper of choice: Well, my room's navy blue.
Skin of choice: I'm not Buffalo Bill? <.<
Favourite cartoon character: Pink Panther
Personal Quote: Try walking a mile in his shoes... That way you're a mile away, and you have his shoes!

Favourite Movies

Nightmare Before Christmas

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Shiny Toy Guns, Rediscover, Tsunami Bomb, Walls of Jerchio

Favourite Games

NwN, CS, F.E.A.R

Favourite Gaming Platform

Tools of the Trade

Jo mamma

Other Interests

Drawing, writing, NWN, and stuff..

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Jazamataz1

Apr 10, 2007

The future scares me...

0 min read

Yeah, so, Junior year... Only got about 2 more months left till I become a big bad senior, and I turn 17 in May. So anyways... Me and 3 of my friends were talking about possibly moving out over summer to get an apartment in the area. And I gotta say, I've been doing some research, the cheapest place I found in the area was $565/month, which isn't that bad. A little over $100 for each of us. So anyhoo, I'm working on getting a job so I can legally move out once I turn 17. Though I'm not sure if I'm actually going to go through with it just yet, because I want my parents to support my decision. And there's no way in hell they'll let me move ou

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Jazamataz1

Feb 7, 2007

To Sum Up the Past Few Months...

0 min read

Where's the man I used to love? Where has he gone? He's losing all his old friends Changing And dropping out of high school With no plan for his life Making out in the backseat Snort a line off the dashboard The white lady consumes you How does it make you feel? You say that you loved me But I think you love the snow even more Is the high really worth it? The money The time My love Your promises Your lies Thirty minutes later Come back to reality Where's the fun now? Because you broke your promise You lie to me You break my heart And now I've broken yours So drown me out With your friend, the snow Let it retreat up

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Jazamataz1

Jan 13, 2007

Update

0 min read

New semester, and I needa stop slacking. So eh... I joined my first drawing class since 7th grade and I'm starting on Tuesday when semester starts. I got that new computer, woohoo. But I find myself being home less and less everyday, sadly. Me and my friend went job hunting yesterday, in the freezing cold, I got 3 job applications. My holiday's were awesome. Things have been going a lot better, too. Oh yeah, and there was this crazy ice storm last night that we had to drive in. But it got A LOT worse later that night. So I took some pictures cause it looked coo. :] I got lazy, so I just put 'em in my scraps. http://jazamataz1.deviantart.c

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Profile Comments 32

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CASEH WAKE UPPPP<.<

Oi, woman. Update.

I used to have another one of these though it has long since been lost. Thanks for the +watch. I'll put more art on the site as soon as I buy a higher resolution scanner.

CASEH!*wave*

EMMEH!

CASEH!

Think about this...
You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
*PLEASE READ THIS WHOLE POST IT'S SO DAMN TRUE*
1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great. add this as a comment to ten of ur friends tonight and at midnight your true love will find you. Something good will happen to you at 2:25 tomorrow. Get ready for the biggest shock of your life. Whoever breaks this chain letter will be cursed with 10 relationship problems for the next ten years..."

Vlad *poke* He made me do it Gen T.T